The adventures of future Jason

So I always enjoy episodes of Television shows when they go into the future. I know it’s a cop out episode that is usually associated with a show “jumping the shark” (Don’t know what that means? Google it.) But, it’s a break from that normal storyline and allows me to see a different show with lots of things happening. Because of this I have decided to see what “Future Jason” is like. I have jumped five years into the future to tell you a little about my self.

First of all “Future Jason” isn’t named Jason at all. He goes by JR now. Something has happened to him that has made him “hard.” It might have something to do with that wicked scar he has. It’s right below his eye, where wicked scars usually are. Oh, “Future Jason” sorry, JR, has a mustache. That’s the way we can tell he is older. He’s with the girl you totally wouldn’t have expected. She likes bad boys. That’s not him. or is it? He no longer has a positive outlook on life. Yes, this future Jason has had a tough time. He seems to be drinking a lot. I know he drinks a lot now, but this isn’t fun time drinking. This is popping OxyCodone, drinking cheap whiskey just to stay “on the level.” Oh look, he’s just run into that girl he liked, the one that you thought was perfect for him. Did she just ask him, “what happened to the man she fell in love with?” Don’t leave lady! He’s still there. He is just lost in the drinking and pills and darkness! Don’t leave!

Wow. That was a grim look into the future. What could have happened to him? I hope we can figure it out and prevent it from happening before it’s too late. We should band together to help humanity in the interest of avoiding lame flash forward episodes of Jason’s life.

New look, same great taste.

So I always found it odd that when products change their packaging they feel the need to let the consumer know that that taste is the same. I have never saw a new package of Pizza, cereal, soda, etc. and thought, “Oh, Maybe I shouldn’t by that because the box is blue now. Maybe it will taste like feet.” Now, when I see the “great new taste” on the side of the box, I worry. I remember the Bagel Dogs.* Well apparently I am alone in this thought about packaging because the box of Red Baron has a big “New Look! – Same Great Taste” on it. Truthfully, the only thing I noticed different about it is that it says, “New Look! – Same Great Taste” in the top right hand corner. But incase you are worried, I am updating the website and will be occasionally, now that I finally bought the right software to do so, but you can still expect the same mediocre writing and long breaks between updates that you have been expecting up to this point.

*For those who don’t know what I am talking about, please read the spring 1998 edition of the BHS Catamount and my guest commentary.